Jarod Kintz Quotes
“When a girl says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask if that includes dental insurance.”
Rating 4.44 em 5(18 Votes)
“I want to be the kind of person that kind people like and want to be like.”
Rating 4.47 em 5(15 Votes)
“I have two friends, Steve and Martin. But I'd happily replace both for the friendship of Steve Martin.”
Rating 4.56 em 5(16 Votes)
“After losing my job, I felt the only options available to me were razors, cyanide, or a shot to the face, until Renaldo, being the good friend that he is, reminded me how to tie a noose. ”
Rating 4.41 em 5(17 Votes)
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg my friends to treat me that well.”
Rating 4.23 em 5(13 Votes)
“The man lying on the sofa seemed friendly. But how friendly could he really be if he was a liar? ”
Rating 4.44 em 5(16 Votes)
“Friends are like orgasms: you can never have too many, but just try to watch out for the fake ones.”
Rating 4.38 em 5(13 Votes)
“I'd kill for any one of my friends. Thankfully for the overpopulated prison system, I don't have any friends. ”
Rating 4.80 em 5(15 Votes)